I Thought I Forgave Them… So Why Am I Still Angry?
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you're finished feeling.
You told yourself you forgave them.
Maybe you even meant it.
You said the words. Took the high road. Tried to move on.
So why are you still so mad?
Here’s the truth that no one talks about enough:
Forgiveness is not the same thing as feeling safe.
And it doesn’t always erase the anger, pain, or grief left behind.
🧠 What Forgiveness Isn’t
Forgiveness doesn’t mean:
You’re over it
You’re no longer triggered
You want the relationship to continue
You’ve erased the impact
You’re no longer allowed to feel upset
Forgiveness is a decision. It can be cognitive. Spiritual. Philosophical.
But our nervous system doesn’t always get the memo.
🔄 Why Anger Sticks Around
Anger is a protector.
It often steps in when something was unfair, unsafe, or unresolved.
Even after forgiveness, anger may linger if:
You never felt fully seen or validated
There was no apology—or an unconvincing one
The relationship dynamic didn’t change
You were pressured to “let it go” too quickly
You bypassed your grief in the name of being “mature”
Forgiveness says, “I’m choosing to release this grip.”
But your body may still say, “We’re not done here.”
😔 The Pressure to Move On
People love to rush forgiveness. It makes things tidy. It soothes discomfort.
But emotional healing doesn’t move at the speed of politeness.
You don’t owe anyone a performance of peace.
You can forgive someone and still:
Set boundaries
Speak your truth
Feel triggered when memories resurface
Grieve what you lost
Want nothing more to do with them
🧠 Trauma and Forgiveness Aren’t the Same Path
If betrayal or harm registered as trauma in your nervous system, forgiveness may only address one part of the story.
Forgiveness lives in the mind.
Trauma lives in the body.
Both matter. Both deserve space. But they move at different speeds.
❤️ If This Is You…
You are not broken.
You’re not bitter.
You’re just healing—and healing isn’t linear.
Forgiveness doesn’t require perfection.
You’re allowed to feel it all: the clarity and the conflict.
The release and the rage.
Because feeling angry doesn’t mean you didn’t forgive.
It just means you’re human.
