Why You Can’t Just “Let It Go”: Trauma, Triggers, and the Nervous System

You’ve probably heard it before—maybe even said it to yourself:

“Just let it go.”
“It’s in the past.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You should be fine by now.”

But here’s the thing. If healing were that easy, no one would be in therapy. And you wouldn’t still be feeling that gut-punch, tight-chest, tunnel-vision response to something that “shouldn’t” bother you anymore.

That’s the thing about trauma. It doesn’t live in the timeline of your memory. It lives in your body.

⚡ Let’s Talk About Triggers

A trigger isn’t just something that “sets you off.” It’s your nervous system scanning for danger, based on what it’s learned in the past. That pit in your stomach, racing heart, or urge to shut down? That’s your body saying “I’ve been here before—and it wasn’t safe.”

Your logical brain might say, “It’s fine, I’m fine,” but your nervous system isn’t so easily convinced. Because the part of the brain responsible for survival doesn’t care about logic. It cares about keeping you alive—even if that means misfiring sometimes.

🧠 Trauma Is a Body Memory

When you go through something overwhelming—whether that’s abuse, neglect, bullying, a scary medical procedure, betrayal, or even chronic emotional invalidation—your brain doesn’t always store it like a regular memory.

Instead, it can get stuck. Frozen. Fragmented.

So years later, you might smell a familiar cologne, hear a certain tone of voice, or be touched a certain way—and suddenly, you're not here anymore. You're back there, in that moment, without even realizing it.

That’s not weakness. That’s your body doing what it was wired to do.

🌀 So Why Can’t We Just Talk About It?

Talk therapy is incredibly helpful. I use it all the time. But for trauma, especially stuck trauma, sometimes words just…aren’t enough.

Have you ever tried to explain a feeling that didn’t make sense?
Or told a story so many times you’ve gone numb to it, but your body still freaks out when something reminds you of it?

That’s where EMDR comes in.

✨ What Is EMDR and How Does It Help?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, but don’t let the name scare you. It’s not hypnosis. You’re not reliving anything. You’re staying grounded and in control the whole time.

What it does do is help your brain reprocess memories that got stuck.

Using bilateral stimulation (like following a light, tapping, or buzzers in your hands), EMDR helps your brain re-file old pain in a way that makes it feel…less intense. Less immediate. Less like it’s happening now.

It’s not about forgetting what happened.
It’s about finally feeling like it’s over.

🧷 You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired for Survival

If you still feel triggered, stuck, numb, disconnected, or constantly “on edge,” it’s not because you’re dramatic. Or weak. Or broken.
It’s because your nervous system has been trying to protect you.

And the beautiful thing is—healing is possible. Not by forcing yourself to “let it go,” but by gently helping your body and brain realize it’s safe to do so.

💬 Want to Explore This in Therapy?

I use EMDR and other somatic-based approaches with clients who are tired of feeling like their past is still in the driver’s seat.
We go at your pace. We stay grounded. We find what works for you.

Whether it’s trauma, anxiety, self-worth, or relationship stress—healing doesn’t have to be linear, but it can be real.

You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.