What Are Erotic Blueprints—and Why Should Couples Care?
When it comes to sex, most of us think we should just know what we like.
That we’re either compatible—or we’re not.
That desire is natural, automatic, and looks the same for everyone.
But here’s the truth:
We all speak different languages of arousal.
And no one teaches us how to translate.
That’s where the Erotic Blueprints come in.
🔎 What Are Erotic Blueprints?
Created by somatic sex educator Jaiya, the Erotic Blueprints are five different styles of arousal and turn-on. Think of them like love languages—but for sex.
Each person has a unique mix, and understanding yours (and your partner’s) can completely shift how you connect.
The five types are:
Energetic – turned on by anticipation, tease, longing, and space
Sensual – turned on by touch, ambiance, emotion, and full-body experiences
Sexual – turned on by nudity, genitals, penetration, and orgasm-focused play
Kinky – turned on by taboo, power dynamics, psychological edges, or physical intensity
Shapeshifter – turned on by all of the above, and craves variety and depth
💬 “Wait… I Thought Everyone Wanted the Same Thing”
If you’ve ever felt like:
“They always want to jump right into it, but I need time to warm up.”
“They don’t respond to the kind of touch I like giving.”
“I feel pressure to perform instead of connect.”
“I love them, but our sex life just doesn’t feel aligned.”
…you’re not alone. And it doesn’t mean you’re incompatible.
It probably just means you’re wired differently—and no one gave you the manual.
The Erotic Blueprints offer that manual.
🧭 How Can Knowing This Help Our Relationship?
When couples explore their Blueprints, they often say things like:
“This explains everything.”
“I didn’t know there was another way to experience sex.”
“I finally feel seen.”
Here’s how it helps:
You stop making yourself or your partner “wrong” for what turns you on
You learn how to feed your own Blueprint AND your partner’s
You can reconnect with play, curiosity, and permission
You shift from pressure and frustration to understanding and empathy
🛠️ What If We’re Total Opposites?
Perfect. That gives you room to grow.
You don’t need to become each other’s Blueprint.
You do need to learn how to communicate, navigate, and honor each other’s desires.
In sessions, I often guide couples through Blueprint mapping, body-based exercises, and simple ways to bring more safety, fun, and exploration into their intimacy.
We go slow.
We stay curious.
We build bridges instead of walls.
💛 Your Turn-On Is Not a Problem
Whether you’re high-desire, low-desire, touch-averse, pleasure-curious, trauma-informed, or totally unsure what turns you on—there is nothing wrong with you.
You might just be trying to speak German to someone who speaks Japanese.
Erotic Blueprints give you both the translator and the tools to co-create something that feels good to both of you.
