Trauma-Informed Care: Shifting from “What’s Wrong with You?” to “What Happened to You?”

Why compassionate, trauma-aware therapy is changing the way we show up for others—and ourselves.

When someone is struggling emotionally, it’s easy to ask, “What’s wrong with you?” But that question—though often well-meaning—can carry judgment. It implies that the person is broken, flawed, or failing.

Trauma-informed care offers a different approach:
What if we asked, “What happened to you?”
What if we assumed that behavior always makes sense in the context of someone’s story?

🧠 What Is Trauma-Informed Care?

Trauma-informed care is a framework that recognizes how widespread trauma is—and how it shapes the way people think, feel, and behave. It’s not just about treating PTSD. It’s about understanding how trauma (big or small, acute or chronic) impacts our nervous system, relationships, trust, and sense of safety.

This model emphasizes:

• Safety – Emotional and physical

• Choice – Empowering the client

• Collaboration – Working together instead of directing

• Trustworthiness – Transparency and consistency

• Empowerment – Building on strengths, not just fixing weaknesses

🚨 Why This Matters

Trauma isn’t always obvious. It’s not always war or abuse. It can be the accumulation of small invalidations, the loss of safety in a relationship, or growing up in a home where your emotions weren’t welcome.

Trauma-informed therapy doesn’t just ask about symptoms—it looks underneath them.
Why the outbursts? Why the numbness? Why the people-pleasing?

It assumes that these responses were once adaptive. That somewhere along the way, your nervous system learned that this was the safest way to survive.

💬 Everyday Examples of Trauma-Informed Practice

• A teacher who notices a child acting out and asks if something’s going on at home—not just handing out punishment

• A medical provider who gives a patient control over how and when a procedure is done

• A therapist who explains what’s happening during a session and gives you choices

Being trauma-informed isn’t just for therapists. It’s a mindset. A lens. A way of saying, “You make sense. Let’s get curious instead of critical.”

❤️ Final Thoughts

We’re all carrying stories. And some of us have learned to survive in ways that don’t look pretty—but were necessary.

When we shift from blame to understanding, from fixing to witnessing, we create space for healing.

Because what happened to you matters.
And you’re not broken—you’re adaptive.