IFS and Parts Work: Meeting the Many Sides of You
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “A part of me wants to do this, but another part of me is scared”? That’s not just a figure of speech—it’s actually how our inner world works.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), often called parts work therapy, is a powerful approach that sees each of us not as one single voice, but as a collection of parts—each with its own feelings, beliefs, and needs.
The Basics of IFS
IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. At its core, it says:
We all have parts—inner voices, roles, or subpersonalities.
None of our parts are “bad”—even the ones that cause us pain are usually trying to protect us.
Beneath all the parts is the Self—a calm, compassionate, wise center that can help heal and lead.
The Different Types of Parts
IFS identifies three main types of parts:
Exiles – wounded younger parts of us that carry pain, shame, or fear.
Managers – protective parts that keep us safe by controlling our environment (perfectionism, people-pleasing, overthinking).
Firefighters – reactive parts that jump in when pain breaks through (using substances, binge-watching, numbing out).
These parts aren’t enemies—they’re protectors. They developed to help us survive overwhelming experiences.
What a Session Might Feel Like
Parts work often feels like sitting down with your own inner family:
You might notice the part of you that’s anxious, the part that’s critical, or the part that just wants rest.
Instead of pushing these parts away, you listen to them.
Over time, the Self—the calm, compassionate core—builds trust with these parts and helps them unburden their pain.
It’s not about “getting rid” of parts, but helping them transform into healthier roles.
Why It’s Powerful
IFS helps people:
Untangle inner conflicts (“Why do I keep sabotaging myself?”).
Heal trauma by comforting the wounded younger parts.
Build more self-compassion instead of constant self-criticism.
Feel less stuck and more whole.
A Gentle Example
Imagine you’re procrastinating. One part of you screams: “Get it together!” Another whispers: “I’m scared I’ll fail.” Instead of letting them fight, IFS invites you to get curious:
What is the critical part protecting you from?
What does the scared part need?
How can your calm Self lead them both with compassion?
Reflection Prompts
What “parts” of me show up most often in daily life?
Which parts of me do I criticize or try to silence?
Can I pause and listen to them with curiosity instead of judgment?
What does my calm, compassionate Self want me to know right now?
A Final Word
IFS reminds us that we are not broken—we are many. Every part has a story and a purpose. Healing comes when we let those parts be heard, honored, and led by the Self within us.
You don’t have to push away your anger, anxiety, or fear. You can learn to listen to them—and in doing so, you just might discover more compassion for yourself than you ever imagined.
