5 Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Sex Therapy
When people hear “sex therapy,” they usually imagine one of two things:
Something super awkward and clinical (picture a cold room and the word “libido” said too many times),
Or something super spicy and intimidating (think tantric gurus and feather boas).
But here’s the truth: sex therapy is often neither of those things.
Most of the time, it’s just two people in a room—navigating something really vulnerable.
And whether it’s about desire, shame, performance, pain, trauma, or just feeling disconnected, I wish more people knew what sex therapy is really like.
So let’s talk about it.
1. You Don’t Have to Be Having Sex to Come to Sex Therapy
You can be single. You can be celibate. You can be figuring things out.
Sex therapy is about your relationship to sexuality—not how often you’re having it.
Maybe you feel broken. Maybe you don’t feel anything at all.
Maybe you’re healing from sexual trauma, medical issues, or purity culture messaging that left you ashamed of your body.
Maybe you just want to learn how to feel more connected again.
Whatever your story—you’re welcome here.
2. It’s Not About Being "Good at Sex"
This isn’t sex school.
I’m not here to teach you moves or give you grades.
Sex therapy isn’t about performance—it’s about presence.
It’s about what turns you on emotionally, what safety looks like in your body, and how you experience closeness, touch, play, and pleasure.
And for a lot of people, especially those raised with shame, fear, trauma, or avoidance… those things are really hard to talk about.
That’s okay. We go slow. You don’t have to know anything when you start.
3. There’s Nothing Too Weird or Too Broken
You might worry that what you’re into is “too much.”
Or that what you don’t want makes you boring or “frigid.”
Or that your pain, shame, or body image makes you unlovable.
Sex therapy is one of the few places where all of that gets to come out into the light—without judgment.
I’m not shocked. I’m not grossed out. I’m not here to fix you.
I’m here to walk with you as you understand yourself better.
4. It’s Not Just for Couples
Yes, sex therapy can help couples navigate mismatched desire, communication, performance anxiety, emotional blocks, or rebuilding intimacy after betrayal.
But individual sex therapy is just as powerful—especially if:
You’ve never felt comfortable in your own body
You were taught sex is dirty or dangerous
You’re unsure how to ask for what you want
You’ve experienced pain, trauma, or shame
You’re tired of feeling like something is wrong with you
Your sexuality is part of your story, whether or not you share it with someone else.
5. You Deserve Pleasure, Safety, and Connection
You don’t have to settle for going through the motions.
You don’t have to live in disconnect.
You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through intimacy.
You deserve to feel safe. To feel understood. To feel alive in your body again.
And sex therapy isn’t about changing who you are.
It’s about coming home to yourself—gently, slowly, and without shame.
